the smile on her face

when they said motherhood was the most selfless job on earth they were right. apple has been under the weather for the better part of the week.... barfings on and off for most of the week. not more then once or twice a day, and not to worry she has been to the doctors.... its a cross between something viral and teeth.... oh those bloody teeth.
so here is what i mean about selfless. two nights ago, she barfed all over herself, myself and the floor. the first order of business was not the large amount of barf that was covering the entire front part of my shirt, and because of the angle i was holding her had conveniently slid down my top and was now seeping into my bra... or the large amount that was now drying in my hair...

the first thing i did was to change apple. then take off both my shirt and my bra, and clean myself with a baby wipe. then tackle the floor topless. oh what a site to see.
the funny thing is, it never would have crossed my mind to do it any other way.
there are so many small and large acts that we do everyday where we put ourselves last.. that i dont even think we notice as mums..... we just notice the big smile beaming back at us, and that makes it all worth it.
i have been pretty crusty all weekend. but i feel myself pulling out of it tonight.
i was pretty embarrassed last night, and ended up leaving early from the party i went to, but i think thats life right now. someone said somethings and i was humiliated. to say the least. the tears came, then the sobbs, then the lonleyness.(i had enough common sence to save these for the car on the way home) i dont know why i dont expect it. i should be prepared better for the bad days, and try to be more graceful about them.
so, all and all it wasnt my best weekend, but it wasnt my worst either.

5 things
1.i spent sometime on me today
2.worked hard with apple on walking.
3. i responded with honesty
4. i had a good chat with friend
5.i laughed at myself
4.