Saturday, October 2, 2010

That something.

I sat down last week and began to write about a relationship being surmised in "eight pages".

How odd that all of the things that you did and said and had can be summed up in "eight pages".



That is what I had titled the blog, "eight pages".


Then just as it always does, life got busy and I didn't hit publish post.


But as fate would have it there was a reason inside me that I just didn't understand yet.





Some of the most important relationships in your life will end, and you won't get "eight pages".

They will just end.

With no pages.




For whatever reason you might wake up on a Wednesday morning and realize that you aren't that close to "so and so" anymore.

When and how did it happen?

Why at one point in your life did they feel like your everything, and on this morning... you can not even remember the last time you talked to them?


Relationships evolve.

They change.

They end.



You might not want them to, but it is inevitable.


For me, the strangest part in all of this is that my heart can still ache the exact same way as it did two years ago.

For people that I will get no pages from.

People that I love so deeply, but can drift from so easily.

When we chose to let people into our lives and give them all of ourselves we are taking a risk....

We are trusting that they are always going to be there, that they are always going to pick up the phone when we call, or show up when we need them to.

We are trusting our hearts with them, trusting that they will never do us wrong, trusting that they will always just stay the same.

That things will always remain as they had been.

Somewhat perfect if you will.

But then...

It happens.

Life happens.

We are all busy with work, family, commitments and things that are beyond our control... and sometimes things that are in our control.


So we drift, not always easily but we drift all the same... away from each other and closer to others.

It is change.

I fear change.

It makes me feel alone and scared.



But maybe along with evolving, change and ending... there is something new around the corner.

That "something" is what keeps me sane today.