just watch your words.

my dad tells me that the first 10 words out of your mouth generally are the ones that matter in a bad situation. dont say the rest. coldplay tells me the same. the councillor asked me if there was any song i could play for fh what would it be.... rather interesting question..... one might think knowing me it would be something horrific with alot of f words.i think she asks the question to see if you are wanting to let go or hold on. lets just say its mixed.

1. fix you--- coldplay. i had never really listened to the words of this song until the last few months, now i can tell you them in my sleep.
2. because of you---kelly clarkson.
3.sometimes i wake up crying---the dixie chicks
special mention went out to grow old with you by adam sandler---just for old times sake
(when asked to give just one i gave fix you coldplay)
i have thought of making him a cd with these songs but i didnt and i wont. it wont matter.

i put them on a cd for me and for some strange reason i torture apple in i in the car with my scream crying any time we go anywhere.... for example... i decided to treat myself to a th coffee one morning this week.... on goes her backyardigans dvd and my cd simultaneously by the time i got to the drive through i was sobbing so hard that i was physically unable to place my order.
so i drove home, with no coffee. apple was fine because the backyardigans were highland dancing and she loves that.

today was the lawyer. she asked questions, i asked questions, its just an expensive way to spend a morning. i did ask her one question that she couldnt answer right away ... how do you divorce someone you love?
she did come up with something after awhile that summed it up pretty well.

you can divorce someone you love because you deserve to find someone that loves you.
great... when i hear that i think great.... so i can do this all over again. great news.
i feel unlovable. i can look back with certainty and tell you that i have never left anyone. they have always left me. always.