another day another dollar.

along with the everyday stress of being a single mum (such silly things as how to get a baby to walk to you when there is not someone else to hold her on the other side and more important things like surrounding apple with positive male role models) the biggest stress i have although its hard to admit right now is money.... because its something i have zero control over. i am completely dependent on someone else to pay me. the payments each month must come for survival. for bills for diapers for food for gas for everything, and right now its all in someone elses hands. (obviously that someone else is my fh) its a will he wont he game in my head. will he pay me each month? will he hold back funds if i say something he does not like? will he forget because he is away... and i will bounce the mtg payment? these are the thoughts that keep me up at night.

i have made some decisions about my future and how i am going to change that. i am going to go back to a job or school in or before june. i am going to research and hunt for the right job for me, or i am going to go back to school to educate myself for the kind of job i want. what that is.... i have no clue right now, but i am sure i will find it. i am sure. any ideas, feel free to let me know.

thats it for now.