only the lonely.

oh my god, i added music. who knew i would get good at this. the weird thing is there is one person who i know would be so so proud of me. but he has no clue this thing exists.

apple and i had a great day together, still doing our research feeling out options for our life, some good some bad... along with the feed back, some good some bad.
mostly today i thought of when i should act on plans. i am sort of at a stand still until we get back from flordia. which is good. i need the time.
today we took a sleigh ride and had a play date with a sweet little girl that lives on our street.
apple walks so much now, it is amazing.... and ran again today, at me with the phone.... yelling at the top of her lungs da da da da da. (sad moment for me but great moment for her)

i laughed alot this afternoon(as i put on my athletes foot medication) thinking about the state of my life. just how buggered up i am. but knowing from the bottom of my heart it could be worse.
i am pretty lonely right now, not just this minute... but at this point..... i sometimes wonder if i would have been just as lonely with him here.
i sort of wonder if i was on this path anyway. i wonder if i would have ended up being on my own if it weren't for all this. was i destined to be alone?
does that happen to people? are they destined to eliminate everyone from there lives in one way or another?


5 things
i put music on my blog all by myself
sleigh ride
lauged louder then i have in weeks at myself
ate well
made plans for myself