how faraway is faraway enough

making decisions lately has become hard. i do not want to be irrational or do anything wrong or make any decisions that i will regret.
i am attempting to do what is best for myself, and in turn whats best for apple right now.
i do not believe that everyone that is included will agree with everything i do, but if it makes me better as a person and a mum isn't it always right.
i know now, that this environment that i am in is not doing me any good. i am cruelly reminded everyday of what's missing in this life. every morning when i wake up, the first thing i still do is roll over to see if he's there. i lay there for a bit wondering if i close my eyes tight enough if he will magically appear. fyi.... it never works.

on a hilarious note, dougie called a computer a puter tonight. yes a puter. dougie is a real jem.


5 things
i did alot, i mean alot of research
sent a necessary email
caught up with a great friend
prayed for another friend
acted like chris matthews from dateline how to catch a predator again.