no sleep tonight....

Today hasn't been a great day. I feel like I am fighting an unfightable fight that I dont want to be a part of any more.
Every part of has given up, and now--- i am just scared and tired of the uncertainty that life presents me with at every turn.
Just when i think i have done something right or i am on the right track with something--- i feel like i get dragged back down into this mess.

I am at a loss for what he wants or expects from me... or anyone else for that matter.
Whats difficult for me is that I cant help him anymore. I can't fix the things I so naturally want to.
Its hard, to take that piece out of your relationship and just try to be two people that share a child and nothing more.

I am scared tonight for the first time in a long time, like things aren't going to be ok.