the letter.

This is something I had to do, not something I wanted to do. It may or may not be sent. But it's here and that is a start.


To The Other Woman,


I remember the moment I first found out about you, I had just finished feeding our daughter. I came across some sent messages from you in his hotmail account, they were replies from facebook messages he had sent you. This all happened very innocently on my part, as his hotmail had been left open. I read each message carefully... so that I could be sure what I was reading. All of these messages were easily explained by him, and it was brushed off in a very matter of fact way, that you were someone he met while in lasvegas.... someone who didn't matter, someone who wanted to be with a friend of his, someone who he felt sorry for.

One message is never far from my thoughts. You asked him if and i quote "was it all worth it? getting married? having a baby?"

To this day, I still imagine his response. I was unable to see it, but at the time I assume his answer was Yes.

Our life at the time was concentrated on one thing, our beautiful little girl, our days and nights revolved around her. What I loved about him most then was his utter and complete devotion to her and I. Nothing was more important then us. However inconsequential each fever or heat rash or update was on our daughter... he wanted to be there with us doing it all. He was an amazing example of a new doting dad.
He has made a horrific decision to give up on our lives together, the life that I know is worth all of the effort in the world. Please believe me when I tell you that I do blame him. I blame him for getting caught up in this. What we had was together was amazing, and i will never truly understand how anyone could ever walk away from "our" relationship, and from our eight month old daughter with out putting up some sort of fight.

With that said, You are also to blame. You knew about us. You asked about us originally, if we were worth it.
You saw my pictures of my daughter and I constantly being added to facebook, like I said... You knew about us.
What I blame you for is putting your feelings above the family the three of us created. Your complete disregard for myself and my daughter.
You will only understand this pain if it happens to you, and even though you have done this to me, i would not wish this on my worst enemy. The hurt and sadness that you have created for myself, my daughter, our families, and our friends is overwhelming on the best of days.

What he and I have to that you could not understand and You never will because you will never have a child as wonderful as ours. You will not have the opportunity to see my child. You will not be having any kind of relationship with her. This is the consequence of your actions-when you destroyed the only family that she ever knew.
I often wonder how you sleep at night, knowing that my daughter that sweet beautiful girl is now with out a father.
She is the one piece of him that you will never have, and that is unfortunate for you because she is the best part.