Just For Today

So, Easter comes to an end.... it was a beautiful day here and apple and i took advantage of it in every way. We had such a great day, she was super excited about all of her gifts and went crazy over her new thomas the train set. After a big chocolate chip pancake breakfast we had an egg hunt in the backyard then headed to home to my parents late afternoon and had a great dinner.

But.... with all great days there is the possibility of a little rain. There was today, a small bit of rain for us. As i had told you before apple threw my phone in the toilet. My cell phone is how fh usually communicates with me when he is away... through text.
I did think that he would call my home phone to talk to her today, being that it was Easter. I thought at some point he would call just to hear her voice.... but he didnt.
To be honest I am ok with it.... I truly am. I have come to the place where i believe that it is no longer necessary to communicate with him about apple everyday.
I feel that he gave up the right to have that kind of communication when he left.
This isnt just something i have dreamt up, it is something that my councillor has been pushing me towards for weeks.
It does not help me to have to "answer" him on a daily basis about apple.
I got a book last week that i started to write in... about change in schedules or less milk at second bottle etc.... and i am going to start to give it to him both nights of the week he takes her and every other weekend.
Then he will have a clear picture of what is happening on a day to day basis.

What makes me sad about the situation is that he does not take the time or have the guts or the want to call her on Easter to hear her little voice. She 100% knows his voice. She knows when its him. Bottom line it disappoints me even further.


I received the following in a forward from a friend.
Today.... it was exactly what i needed.



Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play..

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and turn off the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers And fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms , and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day.............