oh, and he had a mustache.

Today was amazing for me. Well the last few days have been unbelievable.. but today was the best day i have had in a long time.
Not only is apple back to her old self... 3 hour afternoon naps, and waking up at 730... (any parents dream) but i am having some unbelievable progress with my life.

Today I went back to 2 different doctors appointments. Both for my heart. (In different ways)
First one went great. I am back on track from a physical standpoint in almost all the ways I need to be. I am keeping weight on, I am sleeping more... I am physically starting to heal from the damage I did to my body over the last few months.
The second one was even more rewarding. I went back to see the physiologist that I was originally sent to back in January. I have only met this man 3 times. I go to my councillor on a now bi weekly basis... But this guy is the real deal. My doctor refereed me to him for a clinical diagnosis.
He told me then that I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.
I didn't tell anyone this at the time, because of the shame and embarrassment of it. I kept thinking that if I didn't say it out loud it wasn't true.
But it was.
I am not afraid to say it now though. I am not ashamed of this... any of this, anymore. I am so proud of myself.
At the worst times in this, it was more horrifying then i can ever tell you. I honestly don't know how I came out on the other side alive. I was lost, so lost.

The good news for me is that he has seen great progress in me...He's not the only one. But he is the one with all the diplomas on the wall ,the round glasses and the accent.

We talked about a lot. Mostly how to keep going. How to keep this moving in the right direction.
How to reclaim my own life, not just for me but for my beautiful little girl.