There are so many great stories that I think about, that only he knows about. Cool stuff that happened, funny stuff, sad stuff... all of our memories over the last eight years... are just that only memories.
It's hard to look over the last years of your life and have them wiped out. There's not anyone here at night to say "remember when...." to.
No one wants to hear about those stories from me right now, it is to painful for them to hear about the past... as if never talking about it will delete it all from my life.
At this point I do not know what is worse, not remembering or remembering.
It is pretty easy to sit back and sugar coat my life, and to push all of the bad memories out.... believe me, I've done a lot of that.
Lately though, I have tried to remember that bad stuff too. I am still working on talking about the last day he lived here. I am working on it very slowly. My therapist tells me that once I get past the "recall" part... Remembering the rest and being able to piece together the time line will be easier.
Its not that I do not remember per say, Its more that I have blocked it all out from my mind because it is to hard to come to terms with.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
The true story of me.... my beautiful little girl, lost love and the road to a better place.
