Recently I went to an event with some friends and a woman I don't well came up to me and said "you'd never know anything was wrong with you.... you carry yourself so well"
In the moment; I thanked her and walked away.
It got me thinking.... actually for weeks it got me thinking. I actually haven't stopped thinking about this comment since the moment it was said out loud.
Many times I wanted to email her and ask " what the hell did you mean by that?"
I think there is a misconception that I am some how "less of a person" than I was a year ago.
Maybe that because I will be a 32 year old divorced single mum, I should feel the need to hide out and to be say less unwilling to share this part of my life with people.
It's not that I don't feel the shame in this, or the embarrassment..
I do still, daily.
I feel like I failed my daughter.
I feel like I failed my parents and my grandparents.
I feel this yes, still daily.
I refuse to run from this, or hide away like I did something wrong but to tell you this next part may sound like I am doing just that.
I have decided that apple and I are going to move back to the city I am from.
We are going home.
I have spent weeks, if not months making this decision.
I did not take it lightly and weighed all of the pros and cons like any good girl with ocd would.
The pros....they far out weighed the cons.
For example:
a pro being my dad will pick up dog poo in my backyard
a con being my dad will will be over everyday to pick up the dog poo
It's a new chapter
It's a new adventure
It's re learning how to drive 35 in a posted 50 with out honking and giving the finger.
