never really had a chance.

Its hard to believe that it is already Thursday. I have had a really long week... sick me, cranky pants apple.... it happens.
A few things happened this week that hurt like hell, but i guess most of it is to be expected... we all make our own choices in life and have to live with them later.
it still hurts all the same, and i am still not sure how to deal with it..but its just one more piece to this complex puzzle that i am trying to sort out.
i am still so unsure of whats next for myself, i keep looking and keep searching for what is in i want out of life.
i know i don't want this part... the lonely part, the part where i feel like i have been discarded so easily. the part where i feel i am not enough. i really want this empty part to go away.

5 things
i asked a tough question
i put me first
i kept my cool
asked for help
was the bigger person.