If you had to chose one... and only one which would it be.
To care for... or be taken care of by your partner.
Right there....
I know you think your answer just popped in your head
So did I.
I was wrong.
Let's see if you were too.
At first my gut said "to care for". Because that's me.
That is what I do. I care for those around me.
My therapist stopped me when I tried to answer.
She told me to give it time. Two whole weeks in fact.
So I did.
Until Today.
I kept my feet firmly planted in the "care for" column for about 3 days.
Then I wavered.
I started to think about all of my past relationships and why they never worked.
Mostly I thought about the one I just got out of.
I have "cared for" in every serious relationship I have ever been in.
I don't remember a relationship that I have been in that I have been "taken care of".
I think most of it stems from the fact I have a really hard time giving up the control of what is going on around me.
Most of the time, I know I let myself think that I was being taken care of....
but being taken care of based on what someone else thinks you need is not really being taken care of.
I didn't make my voice heard, I accepted what someone else thought I needed as fact and continued to let myself believe that I getting all I needed.
When really I was just accepting what someone else thought was enough to give.
I need to be taken care of.
Bottom line.
It is difficult and almost shameful for me to admit, but I do.
I am told that the more I say it the less shameful it becomes.
I need to be taken care of... NO, still feels shameful.
Collectively my family and I love the movie "It's a Wonderful Life",
That movie is so full of love, strength, faith and friendship.. that I try to watch it a few times a year, Not just at Christmas.
We called it "looking for your Mary".
Trying to find that one true person that will walk with you through the fire.
George needed his Mary. Just as Mary needed her George.
I need to find my George.
