I don't feel it everyday, but I feel it.
Alot.
Some days I feel it when I am racing home after work to pick her up from day care.
I am never fast enough.
I can never seem to get diner on the table or get changed out of my work clothes or do just anything..... with out a struggle.
Sometimes I feel it when I am doing a million things well, but nothing great.
Like I am never enough.
Sometimes I feel it when I am sitting at my desk at work, wishing I was at home with her.
But I had no choice.
Some days I feel it when he tells me he can't take her on his weekend.
He has a choice.
I don't.
I just need to make it all work.
I need to shuffle things around and back out on commitments.
The resentment builds frustration, anger and stress in me.
I can't stand it.
It is not who I am.
This week something very important dawned on me.
I truly believe that if you are not frustrated, angry or stressed sometimes as a parent, then you are probably not doing your job right.
Most parents are.
Most of us are constantly any or all of those three things at any given time.
What I am feeling is ok.
It's right.
It is where I am right now.
Recognizing this makes me hopeful.
